evokunt

2010-02-22T21:38:00.000+11:00

I wish there was an off button to my feelings.

2010-02-17T23:25:00.002+11:00

Fuck this, to be resolute you have to hold a state of no emotion; cold, heartless, empty. anything more can cause you to be hurt.

-

2010-02-13T23:16:00.003+11:00

How did you get one of your scars?

Does hickey count? If so, I was vacuuming my room and it got stuck on my skin. Its so strong y___y

How did you celebrate your last birthday?

Some bbq shizz

How are you feeling at this moment?

Refresheeeed

How did your night go last night?

Okay

How did you do in high school?

Okays

How did you get the shirt you're wearing?

Bought it

How often do you see your best friend?

I have many best friends, so every day? :L

How much money did you spend last month?

Alot

How old do you want to be when you get married?

Youngggg

How old will you be at your next birthday?

What did you do last weekend?

What is the most important part of your life?

Many things

What would you rather be doing?

Nothing, im bored :P

What's the most important thing you look for in a significant other?

I guess personality. Cheeerful & fun to be with? :L

What are you worried about?

Nothing

What did you have for breakfast?

Nothing

Have you ever liked someone who had a girlfriend/boyfriend?

Doubt it

Have you ever had your heartbroken?

Yes (can't believe i wrote no for this answer before)

Have you ever been out of the country?

Yeah

Have you ever done something outrageously dumb?

Old answer; does smoking asian food count? (yes it does faggot)

Have you ever been back stabbed by a friend?

Guesso if you call it that

Have you ever had sex on the beach?

YES :D. No. LOL

Have you ever dated someone younger than you?

Yeah

Have you ever read an entire book in one day?

Yeah

Who was the last person you saw?

No idea.

Who was the last person you hung out with?

Err can't remember.

Who was the last person to call you?

No idea

Who was the last person you said "I love you" to?

I don't know

Where does your best friend live?

No idea

Where did you last go?

Cabra

Where do you go to school?

Sefton

Where is your favorite place to be?

Anywhere by myself :]

Where did you sleep last night?

On my bed

Do you like someone right now?

Yeah guesso

Do you think anyone likes you?

Everyone likes me :D

Do you ever wish you were someone else?

Do you know the muffin man?

.___.

Does the future scare you?

Why are you best friends with your best friend(s)?

Cos

Why did your parents give you the name you have?

No idea

Why are you doing this survey?

To compare

If you could have one super power what would it be?

Geass

If you could go back in time and change one thing, would you?

Definately

If you were stranded on a deserted island & could bring 1 thing what would you bring?

Plane

Would you ever get back together with any of your ex's if they asked you?

Are you happy with your life right now?

Yeah

2010-02-06T20:10:00.000+11:00

ghfyhujtrfe

2010-02-05T23:24:00.003+11:00

How many people know you like the person that you like? It doesn't matter either way

The last time you were in the fridge, what were you looking for? Water

If science found that beer causes cancer, would you still drink it? I heard the sun causes cancer, but i still go into the sun.

Ever go ghost hunting? Yeah.

If you came home and found a hot super model sitting on your bed eating, what would you do to her? Ask her where the fuck is my sammich. :D

What are your views on abortion? Nothing

What was the last thing that you said to someone that made them go "OUCH" Nothing

Is there someone you wouldn't mind kissing right now? Why not.

Anything you would change about your life right now? Alot

Wheres your best friend? Best can only classified when friends are no longer made.

If your ex said they hate you, you say? Nothing.

Who pissed you off yesterday? Nothing

Were you happy when you woke up today? No

What swear word do you use too much? Shit

Would you ever get a tattoo? Live once.

Have you ever snuck out, almost got caught, lied, and actually got away with it? No

Do you have a Facebook? Yeah

Last person you rode in a car with under the age of 20? Hardly take cars.

What are you looking forward to in the next month? Nothing

Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now? Yes, no, maybe.

Would you ever date anyone with tattoos? Nothing wrong with it.

Who did you last get into a big argument with? I haven't cared about anything to argue about it, in a long time.

What was the last thing you hid? Nothing, i have nothing to hide.

Have you ever watched a movie drunk? Yeah

How many letters are in your middle name? 2

Have you dated people who weren't good to you? Yes

What did you do to get your last detention? Don't remember.

Who were you with at 1 am this morning? No one.

Are you mad at anyone? No

Is smoking one of your turn offs? No.

Do you like the song 'I Kissed A Girl' by Katy Perry? Idm

Do you listen to your friend's advice when they give it to you? Most my friends aren't competent enough to give half decent advice.

Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to in person? No

What kind of pants are you wearing right now? Awesome pants.

Have you ever been searched by the cops? No

When's the last time you've been sledding? Never

Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone? With someone if its cold, if its hot they can sleep under my bed. :)

Do you believe in ghosts? No

When you think about your first kiss, what does it remind you of? Mistake

Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? Why not hahas.

Are you afraid to die? I had a period in my life where i was at one stage, but afterwards i think i became nihil, and accepted it.

What friend do you tell the most to? No one.

How's your heart lately? s'alright.

What will you be doing in a half hour? Nothing

Do you regret something you did yesterday? Yeah

Are you sarcastic? Extremely.

When was the last time you smiled? Today sometime? ;s

Have you ever kissed anyone whose name starts with the letter M? No

What is wrong with you right now? Everything

Is there someone you know you should hate, but you can't? No.

Are you a forgiving person? Yes.

Are you talking to someone while doing this? Yeah

Do you think you could last an hour without talking ? Easy

Has anybody ever told you that you're too young to be in love? Yeah

Did you learn anything from the last BIG mistake you made and when was it? Yeah, while ago.

Have you ever been in handcuffs? No

Is there anyone that you care more about than yourself? I guesso, im selfless.

How many times do you talk on the phone a day on average? Once, twice?

What are you doing tomorrow? Haircut

Are you happy? Why not

What do you want right now? Nothing

Think of the last time you stayed at someones house, where is that person? It wouldn't concern me.

Are you starting to realize anything? Yeah

Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? No

If you were upset , who's the first girl you would go to? It used to be like joanne, mimi, linda in my tb days. Now i guess no one.

Ditched school to do something more fun? No

Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to? OFC

Is there someone who pops into your mind at random times? Yeah

What features do you find most attractive in the opposite sex? I think i can speak for alot of people when i say; Personality. Things such as looks are contributing factors.

Is it hard for you to get over someone? Depends

Do you think you are an argumentative person? Extremely

Will this friday be a good one? No

2010-01-17T01:01:00.002+11:00

I wrote this article many years ago. It was so widely quoted and valuable to so many that I spent two years writing the book Playing to Win. The book is far more polished than these articles, better organized, and covers many, many additional topics not found on my site. If you have any interest in the process of self-improvement through competitive games, the book will serve you better than the articles.

Playing to Win, Part 1

Playing to win is the most important and most widely misunderstood concept in all of competitive games. The sad irony is that those who do not already understand the implications I'm about to spell out will probably not believe them to be true at all. In fact, if I were to send this article back in time to my earlier self, even I would not believe it. Apparently, these concepts are something one must come to learn through experience, though I hope at least some of you will take my word for it.

Introducing...the Scrub

In the world of Street Fighter competition, there is a word for players who aren't good: "scrub." Everyone begins as a scrub---it takes time to learn the game to get to a point where you know what you're doing. There is the mistaken notion, though, that by merely continuing to play or "learn" the game, that one can become a top player. In reality, the "scrub" has many more mental obstacles to overcome than anything actually going on during the game. The scrub has lost the game even before it starts. He's lost the game before he's chosen his character. He's lost the game even before the decision of which game is to be played has been made. His problem? He does not play to win.

This dog may be playing poorly, but at least he still has his nonsensical internal code of honor.The scrub would take great issue with this statement for he usually believes that he is playing to win, but he is bound up by an intricate construct of fictitious rules that prevent him from ever truly competing. These made-up rules vary from game to game, of course, but their character remains constant. In Street Fighter, for example, the scrub labels a wide variety of tactics and situations "cheap." So-called "cheapness" is truly the mantra of the scrub. Performing a throw on someone often called cheap. A throw is a special kind of move that grabs an opponent and damages him, even when the opponent is defending against all other kinds of attacks. The entire purpose of the throw is to be able to damage an opponent who sits and blocks and doesn't attack. As far as the game is concerned, throwing is an integral part of the design--it's meant to be there--yet the scrub has constructed his own set of principles in his mind that state he should be totally impervious to all attacks while blocking. The scrub thinks of blocking as a kind of magic shield which will protect him indefinitely. Why? Exploring the reasoning is futile since the notion is ridiculous from the start.

You're not going to see a classic scrub throw his opponent 5 times in a row. But why not? What if doing so is strategically the sequence of moves that optimize his chances of winning? Here we've encountered our first clash: the scrub is only willing to play to win within his own made-up mental set of rules. These rules can be staggeringly arbitrary. If you beat a scrub by throwing projectile attacks at him, keeping your distance and preventing him from getting near you...that's cheap. If you throw him repeatedly, that's cheap, too. We've covered that one. If you sit in block for 50 seconds doing no moves, that's cheap. Nearly anything you do that ends up making you win is a prime candidate for being called cheap.

Doing one move or sequence over and over and over is another great way to get called cheap. This goes right to the heart of the matter: why can the scrub not defeat something so obvious and telegraphed as a single move done over and over? Is he such a poor player that he can't counter that move? And if the move is, for whatever reason, extremely difficult to counter, then wouldn't I be a fool for not using that move? The first step in becoming a top player is the realization that playing to win means doing whatever most increases your chances of winning. The game knows no rules of "honor" or of "cheapness." The game only knows winning and losing.

A common call of the scrub is to cry that the kind of play in which ones tries to win at all costs is "boring" or "not fun." Let's consider two groups of players: a group of good players and a group of scrubs. The scrubs will play "for fun" and not explore the extremities of the game. They won't find the most effective tactics and abuse them mercilessly. The good players will. The good players will find incredibly overpowering tactics and patterns. As they play the game more, they'll be forced to find counters to those tactics. The vast majority of tactics that at first appear unbeatable end up having counters, though they are often quite esoteric and difficult to discover. The counter tactic prevents the first player from doing the tactic, but the first player can then use a counter to the counter. The second player is now afraid to use his counter and he's again vulnerable to the original overpowering tactic. (See my article on Yomi layer 3 for much more on that.)

Notice that the good players are reaching higher and higher levels of play. They found the "cheap stuff" and abused it. They know how to stop the cheap stuff. They know how to stop the other guy from stopping it so they can keep doing it. And as is quite common in competitive games, many new tactics will later be discovered that make the original cheap tactic look wholesome and fair. Often in fighting games, one character will have something so good it's unfair. Fine, let him have that. As time goes on, it will be discovered that other characters have even more powerful and unfair tactics. Each player will attempt to steer the game in the direction of his own advantages, much how grandmaster chess players attempt to steer opponents into situations in which their opponents are weak.

Sometimes I just don't know what to say.Let's return to the group of scrubs. They don't know the first thing about all the depth I've been talking about. Their argument is basically that ignorantly mashing buttons with little regard to actual strategy is more "fun." Superficially, their argument does at least look true, since often their games will be more "wet and wild" than games between the experts, which are usually more controlled and refined. But any close examination will reveal that the experts are having a great deal of fun on a higher level than the scrub can even imagine. Throwing together some circus act of a win isn't nearly as satisfying as reading your opponent's mind to such a degree that you can counter his ever move, even his every counter.

Can you imagine what will happen when the two groups of players meet? The experts will absolutely destroy the scrubs with any number of tactics they've either never seen, or never been truly forced to counter. This is because the scrubs have not been playing the same game. The experts were playing the actual game while the scrubs were playing their own homemade variant with restricting, unwritten rules.

The scrub has still more crutches. He talks a great deal about "skill" and how he has skill whereas other players--very much including the ones who beat him flat out--do not have skill. The confusion here is what "skill" actually is. In Street Fighter, scrubs often cling to combos as a measure of skill. A combo is sequence of moves that are unblockable if the first move hits. Combos can be very elaborate and very difficult to pull off. But single moves can also take "skill," according to the scrub. The "dragon punch" or "uppercut" in Street Fighter is performed by holding the joystick toward the opponent, then down, then diagonally down and toward as the player presses a punch button. This movement must be completed within a fraction of a second, and though there is leeway, it must be executed fairly accurately. Ask any scrub and they will tell you that a dragon punch is a "skill move." Just last week I played a scrub who was actually quite good. That is, he knew the rules of the game well, he knew the character matchups well, and he knew what to do in most situations. But his web of mental rules kept him from truly playing to win. He cried cheap as I beat him with "no skill moves" while he performed many difficult dragon punches. He cried cheap when I threw him 5 times in a row asking, "is that all you know how to do? throw?" I gave him the best advice he could ever hear. I told him, "Play to win, not to do ˜difficult moves.'" This was a big moment in that scrub's life. He could either write his losses off and continue living in his mental prison, or analyze why he lost, shed his rules, and reach the next level of play.

I've never been to a tournament where there was a prize for the winner and another prize for the player who did many difficult moves. I've also never seen a prize for a player who played "in an innovative way." Many scrubs have strong ties to "innovation." They say "that guy didn't do anything new, so he is no good." Or "person x invented that technique and person y just stole it." Well, person y might be 100 times better than person x, but that doesn't seem to matter. When person y wins the tournament and person x is a forgotten footnote, what will the scrub say? That person y has "no skill" of course.

Depth in Games

No one has ever been as bad at anythng as this man was at being president. At least learn from your mistakes.

I've talked about how the expert player is not bound by rules of "honor" or "cheapness" and simply plays to maximize his chances of winning. When he plays against other such players, "game theory" emerges. If the game is a good one, it will become deeper and deeper and more strategic. Poorly designed games will become shallower and shallower. This is the difference between a game that lasts years (StarCraft, Street Fighter) versus one that quickly becomes boring (I won't name any names). The point is that if a game becomes "no fun" at high levels of play, then it's the game's fault, not the player's. Unfortunately, a game becoming less fun because it's poorly designed and you just losing because you're a scrub kind of look alike. You'll have to play some top players and do some soul searching to decide which is which. But if it really is the game's fault, there are plenty of other games that are excellent at a high level of play. For games that truly aren't good at a high level, the only winning move is not to play.

Boundaries of Playing to Win

There is a gray area here I feel I should point out. If an expert does anything he can to win, then does he exploit bugs in the game? The answer is a resounding yes...but not all bugs. There is a large class of bugs in video games that players don't even view as bugs. In Marvel vs. Capcom 2, for example, Iceman can launch his opponent into the air, follow him, do a few hits, then combo into his super move. During the super move he falls down below his opponent, so only about half of his super will connect. The Iceman player can use a trick, though. Just before doing the super, he can do another move, an icebeam, and cancel that move into the super. There's a bug here which causes Iceman to fall during his super at the much slower rate of his icebeam. The player actually cancels the icebeam as soon as possible--optimally as soon as 1/60th of a second after it begins. The whole point is to make Iceman fall slower during his super so he gets more hits. Is it a bug? I'm sure it is. It looks like a programming oversight to me. Would an expert player use this? Of course.

The iceman example is relatively tame. In Street Fighter Alpha2, there's a bug in which you can land the most powerful move in the game (a Custom Combo or "CC") on the opponent, even when he should be able to block it. A bug? Yes. Does it help you win? Yes. This technique became the dominant tactic of the game. The gameplay evolved around this, play went on, new strategies were developed. Those who cried cheap were simply left behind to play their own homemade version of the game with made-up rules. The one we all played had unblockable CCs, and it went on to be a great game.

But there is a limit. There is a point when the bug becomes too much. In tournaments, bugs that turn the game off, or freeze it indefinitely, or remove one of the characters from the playfield permanently are banned. Bugs so extreme that they stop gameplay are considered unfair even by non-scrubs. As are techniques that can only be performed on, say, the player-1 side of the game. Tricks in fighting games that are side-dependent (that is, they can only be performed by the 2nd player or only by the first player) are sometimes not allowed in tournaments simply because both players don't have equal access to the trick--not because the tricks are too powerful.

There are some limits to playing to win. Not sure if this is one of them.Here's an example that shows what kind of power level is past the limit even of Playing to Win. Many versions of Street Fighter have secret characters that are only accessible through a code. Sometimes these characters are good, sometimes they're not. Occasionally, the secret characters are the best in the game, as in Marvel vs. Capcom. Big deal. That's the way that game is. Live with it. But the first version of Street Fighter to ever have a secret character was Super Turbo Street Fighter with its untouchably good Akuma. Most characters in that game cannot beat Akuma. I don't mean it's a tough match--I mean they cannot ever, ever, ever, ever win. Akuma is "broken" in that his air fireball move is something the game simply wasn't designed to handle. He's miles above the other characters, and is therefore banned in all US tournaments. But every game has a "best character" and those characters are never banned. They're just part of the game...except in Super Turbo. It's extreme examples like this that even amongst the top players, and even something that isn't a bug, but was put in on purpose by the game designers, the community as a whole has unanimously decided to make the rule: "don't play Akuma in serious matches."

Sometimes players from other gaming communities don't understand the Akuma example. "Would not a truly committed player play Akuma anyway?" they ask. Akuma is a boss character, never meant to be played on even ground with the other characters. He's only accessible via an annoying, long code. Akuma is not like a tower in an RTS that is accidentally too powerful or a gun in an FPS that does too much damage. Akuma is a god-mode that can't coexist with the rest of the game. In this extreme case, the community's only choices were to ban or to abandon the game because of a secret character that takes really long to even select. They chose to ban the secret character and play the remaining good game. If you are playing to win, you should play the game everyone else is playing, not the home-made Akuma vs. Akuma game that no one plays.

My Attitude and Adenosine Triphosphate

I've been talking down to the scrub a lot in this article. I'd like to say for the record that I'm not calling the scrub stupid, nor did I even coin that term in the first place. I'm not saying he can never improve. I am saying that he's naive and that he'll be trapped in scrubdom, whether he realizes it or not, as long as he chooses to live in the mental construct of rules he himself constructed. Is it harsh to call scrubs naive? After all, the vast majority of the world is scrubs. I'd say by the definition I've classified 99.9% of the world's population as scrubs. Seriously. All that means is that 99.9% of the world doesn't know what it's like to play competitive games on a high level. It means that they are naive of these concepts. I really have no trouble saying that since we're talking about experience-driven knowledge here that most people on Earth happen not to have. I also know that 99.9% of the world (including me) doesn't know how the citric acid cycle and cellular respiration create approximately 30 ATP molecules per cycle. It's specialized knowledge of which I am unaware, just as many are unaware of competitive games.

Not everyone has to know every subject. This chart is for biologists and Playing to Win is for those who want to win tournaments.

In the end, playing to win ends up accomplishing much more than just winning. Playing to win is how one improves. Continuous self-improvement is what all of this is really about, anyway. I submit that ultimate goal of the "playing to win" mindset is ironically not just to win...but to improve. So practice, improve, play with discipline, and Play to Win.

--Sirlin

2010-01-10T01:39:00.002+11:00

If only you knew how much you fucking meant to me.

2009-12-15T22:52:00.001+11:00

2009-10-22T18:11:00.002+11:00

Sup all! :D

Schools started again, so sad lool. Its week A and yeah, been shit cos week A = shifty subjects :(. I got sick today :(, well wasn't really sick, but i needed a day off cos y'day, i got hayfever, and i cbf doing homework. I fell asleep at like 10;00 in my jeans. Sleeping in jeans = comftable :D

Anyways recount of yesterday;

First period was pdhpe, theory ! Yaaay, usualy pdhpe is my favourite subject, but didn't feel so happy walking into class that time. Probably cause im still in my 'holiday mode' :(. Pdhpe started shity, with shitty news :(. "Tomorrow (today) is a theory lesson" :(. NOOOOO NO THEORY ON THURSDAY. /wrists. thats probably one of the contributing factors of why i didn't go today, cause i didn't do the theory hwk LOL. Anyways in pdhpe, we watched bend it like beckham, for like the 20th time -____-. (watched it like 19 times in english :L) and yeah, it was funnier, cos i was sitting next to ray, and we kept making racist remarks HAHAHA :D

Then was recess, patrick kept calling me fat for some reason. o_____O. Probably cause i bring home food to school now LOL.

2nd period was science. Usually in science, don't get along with mrs singh that well, cos like she tries to make smartarse remarks to me, and i answer back, and when she has nothing left to say, she usually gives me lunch det. or something, but idk, she was friendlier this lesson :L. We had to do some poster thing on greenhouse effect, but andy did most of it. strangely, it took up the whole lesson o____O.

3rd period maths. NOOOO, i <3>

Then we had lunch :D, i just sat down as usual and chillaxed with syo 8-). He has really good songs .____.

I got this song from him y'day, its not bad

4th period was ummm, fuck lemme remember D:

IT WAS GEOOO YEAH. Same old geo, indian teacher again, so we had another bludge lesson. i nearly got BR for sleeping in class though :(

And yeah, i got home, msned abit, and then fell asleep a couple of times :(.

Today, i didn't do much :L. Woke up at 12;00, brushed my teeth, ate, played vba for abit, then tangy came to get his book, the bro code or something, and now here i am, blogging my ass off cos i cant do my puzzle.

Oh yeah, i started the puzzle, i just finished sorting out the letters, If i finish by tonight, ill put a pic up :D.

toodleeeeeeeeeees.

2009-10-18T18:08:00.002+11:00

Bro back to blogspot. LOL!

Holidays are nearly over :(. Hmm what did i do? I did alot! :D. Nah, just going out and shieee. My usual routine was;

-Wake up

-Get ready

-Go out

-Come home

-2 games of DotA with cousin

-Sleep

Repeat! :D

Omg its school soon :(, i don't wanna go nooooooooo. Going to study this term :(. Effing yearlies, i wanted to have a laax year, but i ended up studying more then year 7 & 8, cos im such a good boy (A).

cbf. LOL

5+5+5+550

2009-09-24T18:31:00.002+10:00

Add one line to make it a true statement. Line can be any direction :P.

Answer; 5+5+5 = 550

; 5+545=550

I like this kind of weather :D. Its nice. Windy, sunny, hot but not too hot. Awesome weather :D.

Anyways, i havent blogged in ages i think D:

MOON AND CHILDS FEST SOON WOOOOOOO. Im going to both cos im awesome, and i am a very social person 8-). Anyways im going childs fest with no one :(, and moonfest with samson. gonna be awesome. getting haircut tmrw with timothy. gonna make timothy look like a sick kient. I was jsut thinking, he has pretty cool hair, but its just long. :|

My day. Jonathan was spose to come over at like 5;30 to work on our sci assignment, which was due in like 4 hours, but he came at like 8;10. BUT WE STILL FINISHED GO US :D. We hurried to school and like, yeah first period was maths :(. Hate maths. Blotty maths. I blduged most the lesson, cos we have a nice teacher, but now i have a shieee load of hwk. 2nd period was science, we handed in the project and did our presentation. it went pretty good i guess. 3rd period was IST. WE PLAYED THE DOTA ALL LESSON :]. 4th period pdhpe. my forte. :D

zzz cbf blogging anymore. LOL

-

2009-09-07T20:17:00.002+10:00

Whatsup Gee?

Haven't blogged in abit i think.

So i was like thinking, about problems of people our age?

& like my problems, are like revolving around crime, reputation and friendships, & my problems are big to me i guess.

But other peoples problems revolve around relationships and love, and thats big to them.

Whats a big problem, really?

If i was put into someone elses shoes, would i be able to cope? Would they be able to cope in mine?

Dunno, just thinking .

2009-09-03T18:11:00.003+10:00

I accidently wet 2 of my favourite sweatbands, now im using some gay white one :(. But bleh, lifes good, busy week. I reckon this term could pass for the busiest term ive had in my teenage life. LOL.

Well lets start by recounting my day!

Was spose to wake up at 6;00am, but snoozed til like 8;00. I went on net as usual, cause i like going on net in the morning for some reason D:. I went on my facebook and checked my crops on farmville, which is like some awesome game :D. You have a farm and build shit LOL. :]

I got ready for school, and walked to school. Came late again, but not late enough that i had to go to the office :]. I went to science, which we had a computer lesson in, if that makes sense LOL. Me & Andy were planning to play dota, but we had a shit load of work to do, and stupid bitch was checking at the end too. >:(. So i did the work which was some sustainable development shiet. At the end of the lesson, teacher gave me this sheet. I almost completely forgot i signed up for the SAS (Sefton assistance something) until i got that note. Everyone thinks its for geeks and shieet, but i did it cause like.. SKIP CLASSES WOOO ;D. Anyways i was needed 4th period, which turned into quite an interesting story.

After first period, it was recess. I was just eating as usual (tryna gain weight for some reason), when i spotted the deputy coming our way. He came onto our courts >:(, and then he talked to andy. Probably about the peter thingo (explained later), then he went to the year 11's, and talked to them too. I wasn't worried though.

After recess, we had period 2, which was maths. We we're working out of the year 10 book :(, so fkn hard, cause it was the extension one too ! D:. Some shit about finding the surface area of a cylinder. Hmmm...

Formulae (yes more than one) are; 2 x pie x r x h + (pie x r^2)2

Period 3 was IST, and we were playing DotA as usual LOL. Me, Ray & Vincent got into this habit of making Mathew play on the AI side for some reason. LOL. It was me, ray & vincent vs mathew & 2 AI. We won as usual. Nothing interesting happened. I was busy eating my lunch in class, and mathew got caught playing games HAHAHA.

Then it was lunch, where it was raining. Mark(c?) came to talk to us about the peter shiet and yeah. It was raining so we couldn't play bball, so we just sat on the A block stairs and passed a footy up and down. Footy wasn't ours though. LOL

Then 4th period. I went to the office with tim, cause he was on SAS with me. We looked around and didn't see the person wishing to see us, so we sat down, next to peter and some year 10 lebo. Poor peter D: . We sat there for like half the period, then the guy came and tells us it was cancelled ==;. I didn't do homework for 4th period (geography), so i just went home HAHA.

Anyways the peter story. Early this week, some year 8 leb kid decided to be smartass, since his bro was in year 10. He called Peter (super tank guy) shiet, and threw racist remarks at him, and even pushed him! (Note; leb kid was like 140, peters like 170). Peter didn't lose his footing, and pushed him back, and also threw a punch, which skinned his face, which went fully red HAHA. Then he told his bigger bro it, and they brought all their connections afterschool (15 lebos) to look for peter. Fortunately, peter already went home LOL. Next day the leb was getting suspended i think, for threatening the school or some shieet. Andy was gonna tell gitae to come, but the deputy was on our side, because they brought connections. I'd be even worse if we brought ours, and he saw them and shieet.

loool.

-

2009-08-25T21:26:00.004+10:00

Everytime i climb my mountain of what i call happiness, i always seem to get pushed back down. I don't know why. For me i guess happiness is just living without problems. Everytime i live my life for like 1-2 months, another problem arises. Not to mention the stress of being a younger brother, which continually pulls on me, and every few weeks i break into "the bloodrage of the bloodseeker"

Its just not worth it i guess. Climbing my mountain of what i call 'happiness' isn't worth it anymore. I mean whats the point of climbing something, if your gonna end up at the bottom after awhile. The longer you stay at the top, the happier you are, but if you fall down theres no point to all of it. Some people say its worth it, and life has its ups and downs, but now im thinking, and i don't think its worth it anymore. Every fucking time, i get pushed down, and im not even near the fucking top. ==;. Problem after problem, is it really worth it to climb my 'mountain' ?. I don't think so. So sick of all this shit, so sick of being who i am, and where i am, but i have no choice do i? I can't be anyone else, i can't be anywhere else. But i can't take it. Everytime i break, it gets worse and worse. And after i finished my 'bloodrage', i feel all happy and shiet again, but this time i just don't think its worth it. Far out.

Im sure i made a rant on little brothers right? I get blamed for everything my slightly older brother does, and because hes slightly older than me, he gets a kind of 2 year grace. Like for chores, he didn't start 2 years earlier than me, he started at the same time as me. And like when he does something wrong, i get punished too, usually more severly ==;. Like he used to be the biggest WoW addict, and now because of that my computer time is cut down alot. Yeah, and bigger brothers are ALWAYS right no matter what it is they're saying.

I guess im just another kid complaining about his problems, but it'd be much easier if someone understood me. Everyone just thinks that like im probably over-reacting over a simple problem but its not. Im exploooding after months, years of living like this.

Sick of my friends, family & life.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

assholes. :L

-

2009-08-22T21:55:00.002+10:00

Bored, so ill post abit about camp! :P

It was an early Wednesday morning, and i got out of bed. I quickly got my clothes, and went into the shower, which was soo nice, but then i friggen froze when i got out D:. I was wearing jeans, a shirt, and an extremely oversized hoodie. Made me feel like it was 08, when all the shufflers were walking around. It was like 6;40 when i finished getting ready, so i went to pick up becca & ray. I told becca & ray that id pick them up at 6;30, but i was like 20 minutes late by the time i was done. Then we got dropped at the foodbar near school, where we met andy & syo, and we just chillaxed outside for abit.

40 minutes later, we made our way to school, which wasn't far. We left our luggage on the bball courts, and just stood around, waiting for everyone to show up. The poofty selectives were playing bball as usual, even in the morning and yeah. After awhile, everyone was there and teachers did checks and shieet. My activity group was shieet, only had andrew, rebecca & della but ohwells.

At about 8;00, we went on the bus. I wanted the friggen double decker, but was put on the shitty bus :(. Told us we had to sit on certain buses, cause if there was an accident or something, it'd be organise. On the bus, i sat next to syo, with thomas & michael behind me. We started to listen to music, and thomas noticed, so he handed us speakers, and yaaay, we pumped music for the whole bus trip. Samuels songs are soo good btw :L

When we arrived there, it was like 1;00, and they served us lunch. It was some burger, but it tasted alright. After that we headed to our dorms. Our one was alright, but syo says the girls ones are much betterrrrr. We put our shit down, and took out all our food, and stacked it on the heater.

We had so fucking much, that it wasn't funny anymore. LOL.

After that we headed to our first activity. We were doing highropes, where you just do an obstacle course, on high ropes. I did the one on 12 metres, which was scary, but once you finish, you wanna do it again.

Quote "Brian is a beast"

No joke, hes so fucking dunno.. insane? He jumped throughout the whole course, and ran and shiet. But that was the second time he did it, so bleh. I only did it once, cause i didn't wanna risk losing my raybans! :D.

After that activity, we had our afternoon tea, which was like fruit or something, then went to do our 2nd activity! Canoe'ing. It was peaceful and shit, i was planning to go on a canoe with rebecca and della, but we decided to do something else. 8-). A few hours into canoe'ing, we paired up with another canoe, like the middle people holding it together, and everyone else paddling. It was awesomeeee!

After that, it was dinner, which was shieeet, as expected lol. We had rice, which coulda passed for poridge, chicken, which coulda passed for hay, and much more. It was shit okay? LOL.

Then we had the night activity, which was like a group thing, where theres many comps, and you get points. Only memorable thing was gladiator, where you have to like, squad in a 90 degree angle, and it friggen burns your legs. Speaking from experience LOL.

After that, they sent us to get supper, and then to bed.

Bed my ass, HAHA.

We stayed up eating. I think timothy and luke were going to esh, and we had to convince a certain someone not to go :@. We ate and ate, and got caught 10 times, and then we watched i still know what you did last summer, but people kept talking so whatever. Andy and pat played poker all night LOL.

Fark, man, when we slept that first night, it was soooo friggen cold. Like probably 2 degrees or something. Its cause we didn't know how to work the heater.

Next day we woke up at 6;00, and yeah got out of bed, showered, ate and went to our first activity, which was low ropes. Low ropes was like high ropes, except lower. That was boring, so we quickly progressed to the flying fox, where you like yeah. You know what it is right? :D I did it near first, so i had to wait for everyone to finish, so i just sat with della and becca taking luvohs LOL! She probably deleted every single one cause she looked 'ugly'. After that was giant swing, which was soo fun.

Something like this.

Anyways after that was dinner, which was shit again, and then discoo! We all decided to dress gangsterrr LOL. Me and peter dressed classy, with like wedding stuff, but everyone else did the jacket and singlet thingo. Syo was pumping music as usual, but we all just sat down and watched. I did abit of glowstick raving, but nothing special, cause i haven't raved in sooo long. Tim gave me a piggy back, and chucked me, leaving this massive burn on my skin. Fucking asshole :@!!!.

Next morning we had abseiling, or something, and it was easy. Just climbing down a 10m wall :P.

Then we got on the bus and headed for home. I slept most the time.

:D

-

2009-08-21T23:14:00.004+10:00

Its kinda funny when some people think their life sucks, because its usually something small. If its not, then very well, they have a reason to QQ, but alot of people think their life sucks over small reasons, and i dunno. I just compare it to myself, and think how better off they are than me, but then again everyones thinking that right?
Sooo much shit has happened in the last month that im sick. Sick of everything, i just want a break. I don't want this trouble, im sick of life, sick of waking up in the morning to have another frustrating and stressing day. Sick of duty and responsibility. Sick of being part of the team, sick of doing it for the team.
Sick of life.

I remember along time ago, like 2-3 months ago i really hated being who i was. I hated being evo, hated being ho. Now it doesn't look so bad compared to the shit im in, but im not scared.

I wanted to run away before, because of my strict parents, and yeah i still do, but what good will that do? Nothing. My childhood is already was fucked as possible that its not funny.

You might think im just over reacting to something small, but im not. What i do, will effect alot of people, so i can't just do shit for my own benefit.

FML, QQsauce.

-

2009-08-21T19:09:00.001+10:00

Long story short.

Camp sucked cock and deepthroated it, and then choked to death.

Joking, nitm to blog.

-

2009-08-17T21:54:00.004+10:00

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I JUST HAD TO LOLOLOLOLOL

-

2009-08-17T21:50:00.002+10:00

Its mondaaaaaaaaaay, tomorrow is tuesdaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay and the day after is wednesdaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!.

Anyways camp soon :D, starts on wednesday, and ends on friday. I cbf telling you what im gonna do, so like yeah. Gonna be heaps of fun though.

-

2009-08-16T16:09:00.004+10:00

Tiring day today, went bankstown with lilandy, syo, raystar and rayzr. Went to go get shit for camp, and then to hang around. Syo missed his first train, so he was like 1 hour late LOL, and we bought like $60 worth of shit, cause we're cheap :D. Bought 20 packets of popcorn for $9 :D. Then i think syo & andy were gonna meet up with andrew, but syo went home, and andy stayed with us, & we went to eat at some restaraunt. Friggen i ordered pho tai, and there were strips of mi inside it. wtf!? i complained, and they didn't charge me :D

Then we did other stuff, then went home :D

Oh yeah, and i think i saw keith

Edit; Yeah it was keith, he looks so different D:

Saaarp

2009-08-14T22:37:00.003+10:00

Been anxious this whole week, everytime i walked out of school, i was ready to like, dunno, go home crawling i guess. I was ready to like be beaten to a pulp, and i accepted it was gonna happen. It didn't happen, but its going to happen, and im still ready.

Bleh, fuck it.

Ready as fuck you motherfuckers.

Oh yeah, and + rep for tony byron & johnny. Don't worry guys, ive got this haha.

-

2009-08-10T15:36:00.014+10:00

(20:45) ; kimmieebu: HO HOW DO I START A REVIEW

(20:45) ; kimmieebu: I FORGOT

(20:45) ; kimmieebu: LMAO

(20:45) -: Review

(20:45) -: hmmmm

(20:45) -: isn't a review like

(20:45) -: uh

(20:45) -: uh

(20:45) -: like you reviews

(20:45) -: something

(20:46) ; kimmieebu: oh

(20:46) ; kimmieebu: thats

(20:46) ; kimmieebu: VERY

(20:46) ; kimmieebu: helpful

(20:46) -: LOL

(20:46) -: i tried okay

(20:46) ; kimmieebu: you reviews something

(20:46) ; kimmieebu: FANTASTIC HO LMAO

LOLZ

Camp in like 1.5 weeks! : D

2009-08-09T22:20:00.003+10:00

Msn - Branden & Jenniela

Itunes - Mya - How Do We Get Back

Camp in like 10 days :D.

Anyways today is the 9/8/09 and yeah, nothing special about that day 8). Today i woke up at like 12;00pm. Fucking hell :@, im trying to make a habit of waking up early, and i wake up in the afternoon :(. Its probably cause i slept early the night before, cause i was tired. I woke up and ate brunch, which was like idk, migoreng :D, then i hopped on the computer and played a few games, cos i was bored. OH SHIET, JUST REMEMBERD THAT I FORGOT TO PRACTICE PIANO TODAY D;. My god, piano's so hard now, i wish i could just quit, but my rents would get super pissed if i did, so yeah. I actually have to practice the songs to play them right, but thats not the problem. I hate my piano, the keys are so stiff, i wanna get an Alex stein thingo one. Idk whats it called LOL.

After i played a couple of games, i got bored, and just started msning, which was boring as well, so i sat in my room doing random stuff til time passed, and at about 9;00pm i gamed again, and yeah. Its now 10;24, and im supeeeeer bored.

School tomorrow nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! I hate school, i have no friends :(. Yay sport on Tuesday, and its also week B! I love Tuesdays of week B, cause its my favourite day. We have english first for 80 minutes, which isn't great, but gets it out of the way, then science 2nd periodfor 40 minutes, so it zooms right past. Then after that we have PDHPE Prac for 80 minutes, which is period 3 YAAAAAAAAAY. Then lunch for 50 minutes, then sport for 80 minutes. Triple sport if you play at lunch time :D.

But tomorrows not tuesday. its monday.

/wrists

Tuesday 4th August

2009-08-04T21:56:00.004+10:00

I miss the old days, back in late 2008 to early 2009, that was when i was really happy, now im in the shitssssss as usual. Not to sound emo, but seriously, so fuckin' boring now :(

Anyways today was sport. Period one was okay, it was english, and we were watching that movie 'Bend It Like Beckam' or some shit. Its a pretty good movie about soccer, but yeah not really my type. Second period, we had science, where me and Jonathan always talk about yugiohhh abridged LOL.

Yami-Yugi: "Stop Mokuba! What would your brother say if he saw you now?"

Seto Kaiba: "Good work Mokuba! Now steal something off Joey too!"

LOL! Anyways, period 3 was PDHPE, where we played euro. We did pretty good, but like had no shooter so we only won like 3 games, but we came close in all the other ones, shooting lots of goals and shit, they had a good keeper too. I was soooo tired, cause i was star player :D. Ive noticed ive become alot more sporty these days, like only when i have to, i still sit around and lunch & recess and do jackshit LOL.

After that was lunch, and we played tackle football LOL, nothing to explain there.

And then period 4, was sport. We had try outs, and i think i made A team right away for doing good sets. I was like first person to get his name asked (H). And after that, we played proper games, and after we were off, me, Ray, Tangy, Anthony, David and some others decided on a new trende. We all tucked our shirts in our pants, buttoned up our t-shirts, and put our collars up. Damn, it was 1337. We tried to take a photo, but tangy got his phone confiscated by mackaye HAHAHA.

And yeah after school, Tim came over, and gamed on my computer for like half an hour, then i practiced piano abit, and then i went to sleep til about 6;30.

Peaceeeeeeeeeeeeee, blog more tmrw or some shit.

Skydivin'

2009-07-23T18:49:00.003+10:00

Hey guys, i don't think anyone reads my blogs. :L

Well, im under alottttt of stress cause yeah, my life suckssss, im in the lows :(

56

2009-07-20T17:27:00.002+10:00

Special number for today is... 56! :P

Doing drugs isn't bad, nor is it good, it just depends what reason it is being done for. That is the factor that determines whether it is good, or bad, or just fucked up.

Anyways today i woke up at 2;45. Probably due to that all nighter i pulled the night before. I had nothing to do, since i had to stay home, cause it was my dads birthday. Yaaay cake tonight. Anyways epic gaming day, and i don't even feel dumbfolded. Probably cause i ate breakfast today (:

Evos extensive guide to onliners!

2009-07-12T20:56:00.003+10:00

Hey all. Im evo, you may remember me as the one that pwnt your ass in every game im bothered to play.

After many years on the WWW (world wide web), i have gained valuable knowledge.

Knowledge, which i am here to share with you. :D

Anyways, people who use the WWW, are called onliners. Why? Cause they're online dumbass. From now on, everyone using the WWW will be referred to as onliners.

There are many catagories of onliners. You may notice, for example, that on Windows Live Messenger, theres people who tYpE lIkE tHiiS, people who type normally, and people who type; Like this.

This blog is to inform you about the onliners, and their threat levels.

CATAGORY 1
NEWB

You might think noob & newb are the same thing, but they aren't. They are faaar different.

Newbs (Pronounced like noob, but think about it as the word new with a b at the end. New-b), are people who are new to stuff. Enough said. It could be games, chatting applications, programs, forums and the lot. Doesn't matter. Newbs, a generally, people who have just begun something, and show that they are experienced in the basics, because everything online is related abit. They show that they have potential, and often learn fast. Their questions are usually the good questions, not the noob and obvious ones, but the ones that you could learn from. They show that they are experienced in other areas which are related to the said program/application.

CATAGORY 2
NOOB

Noobs are bad. Very bad.

Noobs are like newbs, but they have gone down the darker side of life. They suck, and are proud of it, unlike newbs, who suck, but learn from their mistakes. Noobs (pronounced noob), think they are good when they are not. They think they are good, when they are bad. Noobs often ask the obvious, and act like they are really good, when they actually suck. Nuff said.

Evo being a noob.

- meimei loves joanne ♥ says (21:18):
*Man you should take a break from games
- evøkuиt_ ™ -; : P ... says (21:16):
*Take a break from your mum!

CATAGORY 3
PRO

Pros, as their name suggest are pros.

However, what is a pro you may ask. A pro is not someone who is good. A pro is someone, who has alot of experience. Proness, is gained from years of experience. They aren't good at something, as they usually start off as a noob, or a newb that went down the dark path.

CATAGORY 4
ASIAN GAMER

These are the real pros. They are just good at everything, for no reason. Usually like a newb, who is pro. They always learn fast, and become very good very quickly. They are also dedicated gamers. Asian gamers are often referred to as AG's, and are often very good at MT3, DotA, WoW and games of that genre.

CATAGORY 5
CYBERS

Cybers are no lifers, and they show it in their cyber messages when they are angry, and the lot.
For example;

Sad;
- evøkuиt_ ™ -; : P ... says (21:40):
*hey meimei
- evøkuиt_ ™ -; : P ... says (21:40):
*plans for tmrw?
- meimei loves joanne ♥ says (21:41):
*no ..
- meimei loves joanne ♥ says (21:41):
*lmao :(

Angry/DND;
- evøkuиt_ ™ -; : P ... says (21:42):
*hey meimei
- meimei loves joanne ♥ says (21:42):
*what
- meimei loves joanne ♥ says (21:42):
*lol.

Happy/High/Drunk/Amused;
- evøkuиt_ ™ -; : P ... says (21:44):
*hey meimei
- evøkuиt_ ™ -; : P ... says (21:44):
*there was a dog
- evøkuиt_ ™ -; : P ... says (21:44):
*today
- evøkuиt_ ™ -; : P ... says (21:44):
*it was in a cape
- evøkuиt_ ™ -; : P ... says (21:44):
*LOL
- meimei loves joanne ♥ says (21:44):
*ROFLAMFOLAFMOAFLMAFLAFMOFLAMAOAF
- meimei loves joanne ♥ says (21:44):
*LMFAOLFMOAFLMAFO IS IT

CATAGORY 5
TROLLS

Trolls are asian gamers, who are too experienced. They are people who hate noobs, but in turn, have turned into an Asian gaming noob. They are often very pro, and very good, but turn into dickheads.

Example of a troll;

Newb asks if there are major changes to DotA in the past months.
RYU: Yeah, old dota is different.
GTKae: Yeah, dota changes, unlike ryu's IQ of 30.

RYU is a pro
GTKae reigns supreme however, because of his aggresiveness.

CONCLUDED

Slide Ninja Slide

2009-07-09T18:07:00.002+10:00

Fuck it hurts. :(

Anyways yesterday, we had sport first period, and we were doing a modified game of soccer in the hall. Its like, same goal as soccer, that is, that you have to move the ball to the other side and shoot, but instead of using your feet, you use your hands and try to hit it or roll it or whatever. If you lift the ball, you get eliminated. If you get hit by the ball below the knee, you get eliminated. If you stop the balls movement, you get eliminated. You can stand up or kneel down.

Anyways first time we played, we got scored against right away, and sent off LOL.

Second time, we won. It was so epic, because everyone got eliminated except me, and i won it for the team.

We didn't lose a single game afterwards, meaning we played for the wholeeeee lesson!

AND I FUCKING ACED EVERY GAME, WINNING IT FOR MY TEAM :@

Now my legs are dead, because of so much sliding. My back hurts from too much excercise, and yeah. Deep bruises brooo.

Today we had sport again. Fucking went hardcore in basketball, and it was like 35-16.

Literally dead; legs don't work, back kills, arms dead.

:(

Cause i own

2009-07-07T21:26:00.003+10:00

Fucking hell, my rents caught me awake at 10:30 and told me off, because i told them i was about to shower, and the next morning, they said i was awake at 12:30.

Note - Rents = Dad

My brother, who is a fucking dickhead, decided to make me get off net at 9:00pm now, because yeah. Fucking hell, last night, i was fucking shaking, cause i was so pissed off. Yeah, i was about to through my phone at the wall, but i decided not to, because of the noise it'd create.

Okay i lied, i chucked my phone at the wall LOL!

:D

Cat rhymes with mango

2009-07-05T18:35:00.003+10:00

FUCKING SICK

Sleep deprived and caffeine empowered

2009-06-30T19:35:00.003+10:00

Didn't get much sleep last night, cos i was working on my puzzle. Its sooo epic, you wouldnt understand :(

Evos Analysis

2009-06-29T20:40:00.002+10:00

Dota is an example of non-linear regression, therefore we use the equation:

Y = aX + bZ + cW + dV;

Where Y will be a numerical value indicative of the winner which is a defendant variable,
X,Z,W,V are sets of independent variables such as damage per hit, efficiency of pathing and luck depending on terrain misses
.
a,b,c,d are coefficients of these variables which determine how greatly they will affect the value of Y.

Realistically, Y would depend on one variable which is the level of skill of players and everyone other coefficient will be 0.

DotA aint so simple aye?

Rage

2009-06-23T20:21:00.002+10:00

Did i say something about a rage blog? Cause i changed my mind :).

Anyways today we had Food Technology first, and Andy told me to sit with him so yeah, i kinda moved seats for a day. 15 minutes later, i got moved back to my original table with Joanne, Della and Julie because i was talking too much :(. Food Tech was a breeze, easy work. Teacher threatened me saying i had to finish the work by the end of the period, and i finished it 5 minutes after starting it. :).

In Food Tech, we had some very disappointing news.

SPORT WAS CANCELED, WAAAAAAAAAA :(. Again & again. I turned up early to school for training, and i actually played well, and sports canceled again :(. Fucking hell, i hate it how if the weather affects one sport, all the other sports get canceled. Like it said that the fields were muddy yeah, but that would only apply to people doing Soccer and shit, and since they can't play soccer, good ol' Sefton High decides to cancel Netball and Basketball, which are played on concrete. Very smart :).

My tone of sarcasm above reminds me of something, in Food Tech, i found out we're gonna get a demo, but we're not gonna get a practical, which is weird, cos they're gonna show us how to make it, yet we're not going to make it. HAHA.

Anyyywaaaaaays;

Tomorrow, im going to Piano lessons. :( They are very hard, and i don't think im up to Grade 5 standard, but im sure i'll make it, since im able to play other songs such as Rondo Alla Turca & Allegro Burlesco, which are probably much harder, but still. :(

On Saturdaaay, ill probably be going to watch a Movie with my Orihime + her cousin. Watching transformeeeeeeeeeers two! :D

Currently, i am like uploading this video on youtube, and rendering another to upload. It takes soooo long :(.

Blog more later.

Zoooooooom

2009-06-19T21:15:00.002+10:00

Today is Friday, the 19th of June. The weekend haaaaaas comeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee (8). This week was uneventful, just the usual shithouse routine of school and study. My bro once told me that i was gonna go gangsteer. I think hes kinda right :/, cos like this week im full having bursts of anger. So faaaaaaaaaarking angry at everyone kinda, tbh i think im the only decent person in my family. I can list all the reasons here, but i won't.

I wannaaaaaaaaa go somewhere tomorrow, but i don't know where :(

Anyways;
Mood; Neutral
Currently Listening to; Jiang Yu Chen - Wo de Zhi Qu Ti
Feeling; Tired

Im waitinggggg for my ohrime to come back from bankstownnnnnn, so i can make plans tomorrow, but still im fuxing bored. Earlier on today i wanted to rage at my blogspot, but now i forgot what about.

Expect a rage blog soon.
Very soon.

Todaaaaaaaay

2009-06-14T20:34:00.002+10:00

I am very sleepy. Fucking oath.

Friday the 12th

2009-06-12T22:46:00.004+10:00

Date; Friday the 12th
Month; June
Year; 2009
Time; 22:46

Today is a dark, dark day. Clouds swarm over the sky like insects would over a decaying butterfly. Sounds of nature indicate a incoming storm, like a flood cleansing an unpure land of its filth. My mood is not a good one, as today, good things did not happen. I have learnt alot and experienced horrid things, that any person wouldn't want to ever experience in a life time, just in the last 8 hours. I've learnt not to do things, that i've always done, and i've learnt that the blade of Quelling, does not over ride the main duties of the effisational tangoes. You might not understand that, but only someone who is my peer & equal will.

120609; a date to remember.

I LOST 12 FUCKING GAMES OF DOTA :@:@:@::@

LOL HAHA

6th June

2009-06-06T00:25:00.003+10:00

Its been ages since i've felt this happy. The past 3 months weren't good ones, i was down & wasn't happy, i didn't see the point of existing, but i did just to be.

Yesterday wasn't a good day, Joanne thinks i do drugs rofl because im "sleepy", but im not bothered to argue with her because cbf + its not worth it. Recently, possibly one of the greatest men i have ever met, has walked out on us. Im sure anyone, cept Nassim, in our IST class would agree Mr Do, was some what succesful in life. I felt an oppurtunity go by, as he left, and i watched him without asking questions. Day before was okay, except that i was fucking sick, also, my phone fucked up kinda.

Today is Saturday, the 6th of June and it is exactly 1:07am. Im feeling cold, wearing singlet + trackies, and missing my Ohrime. I felt that yesterday, was a time of great change. No one would've noticed it, no one would see anything different, only i would notice, because this great change about me. No one will notice that im any different; Branden will still have respect for me, Joanne will still treat me like the druggy she thinks i am, Meimei will still treat me as a long time friend, and all the rest, but deep inside, i think abit of my soul is letting go of the strains on it, and i think, something good may come out of all of this.

Heres a date for you guys to reminisce on about; 30/3/09
If you see it strangely familiar, then (Y), i respect your memory. Lets just say, i don't give a shit about that date, and the 4-5 months before it anymore. Yes, i used to care, but now i finally know that its not worth it, cos it was fucking stupid anyway.

I've decided to never ever fucking dwell on shit that doesn't matter anymore. I know who my true friends are now, and i know who i can really TRUST. I know what all my friends really think of me, and which friends are WORTH keeping, because some just seem to lack faith in me. Some just seem to not trust me, when i did one thing wrong, that they don't even fully understand, but i no longer give a shit. You may think you tried very hard to help me, but your wrong. Everyones willing to help when things get bad, but before that, I was the one trying, i was the one suffering, because of your ignorance.

Everyone is willing to be sorry when its too late.

Read it carefully, and think about when too late refers too, because this all started before you think it did. You might think you know the full story, and you might think that your the one thats right, but i have one thing to say, even though you'll never understand it because im never telling anyone, cept my closest C's. I didn't start all this, YOU did.

I feel as if another part of my soul can relax now. I am having strange attacks of europhia and bliss. It could be the calm before the storm, or it could be the start of something worthwhile. Do you guys know what im referring to? One hint, and only about 2 people will understand:

4 months and 30 days

Thank you, thank you so much.

You brought me out of my

Nihilism
<3>

1st June, 2009

2009-06-01T19:08:00.002+10:00

First blog in awhile, i feel okay. Had a drink up on saturday, and Linda got tipsy after one sip, which was kinda cute :$ Currently on msn, feeling tired, bla bla bla. Anyways on Saturday, i woke up a fell back asleep a few times, and i thought it was like 1:00pm, but it was actually like 10:00am when i got out. Branden and Linda came at like 10:50am, and i just got out of the shower. We used the computer, well Linda used the computer, and yeah took luvohs, but she didn't like most of them LOL. Anyways after about 1 hour of watching Linda use the computer, we went downstairs and begun party preparations woo. Me, Branden and Linda began to make our Potato and Egg salad thing, and yeah. It was funny peeling the potatoes, cos Branden(BQ) claimed they were magical potatoes, because they helped him breath better. Yeah he was sick too. After that, we had an egg peeling competition, whoever had the most egg scraps in their bowl wins! BQ won, cos i gave him my scraps while i went to cut chives. I kinda failed at first, but then my bro showed me the way.

After that, while the potatoes were cooking, we were about to watch a movie, but it failed so we just sat down and watched normal foxtell TV. I went outside for fresh air, and Linda followed me, only to expose her secret fear of dogs to me :D. Linda went back upstairs and me and BQ played cards in the garage. Now the potatoes were done, so i got them, and mixed them with the eggs, chives and mayonaise. We used sooo much lol. After that, i think or was it before?, we went to the shops to buy stuff. I met my bro there and he told me what to buy, and i also bought 2 minute noodles. On the way back we dropped by Wendy's, and told Linda to go knock. When i checked, Linda was gone, so i thought she was attacked by a pedophile. Unfortunately she wasn't, and told us Wendy wasn't home, so we made our way back to my place.

We went upstairs, and Linda used the computer again, then shortly after, she got in my bed. We had arguments on whos pillow it was LOL. Then she noticed my salt lamp, and asked me what it was, so i told her it was a salt lamp, shortly followed by me licking it. She was full freaked out, calling me dirty cunt and stuff, but in the end she licked it too, and i got it on video :D. The time was about 3:00pm i think and yeah, we just used the computer until guests started ariving. First to arrive was Ray and Timothy, i was sooo anxious to introduce Tim and Linda IRL, cos they full talk on bebo and stuff, but in the end, Tim said about 10 words to Linda the whole night, and hence i think he's a fridget now. Ray was okay, but he wasn't shy, replied properly and shit, but Tim was likeeeee, soft replies ROFL. Shortly after, Tangyfuck arrived, and we headed into the garrage, whilst i moved my speakers + the drinks in. We started eating, and cooking our bbq which was awesome, cos i didn't cook at all. Shortly after, elfcunt, Rebecca and her brother arrived and things got fun. Just playing card games and shit. Wendy + Victoria + Steven said they couldn't come so yeah.

Meanwhile, whilst i was having fun, the 3 dickheads, Timothy, Mathew and Michael, decide to go upstairs and play ddr, like the low lives they are. They sure aren't invited next time. They are the biggest dicks, they come to my party, and don't even participate, they just stay in my room and play the ps2, or when they go downstairs, they just youtube, and try to get me capped.

Stupid dickheads ==;

Anyways enough of me raging. It was like 9 or something, and most peopel went home except a few guys, who were awesome. We finished up the drinks and food, and went upstairs to have a CF competition or something. After about 11:30pm i think it was, everyone was gone cept me and Branden. We decided to watch the 2 Death Note movies, which lasted til like 5 in the morning, then we played games til 9, when brandens mum came to pick him up.

The end, post more when im bothered. :L

Me and Littlelady

During Poker i think

BQ Gaming

Me afterwards

Dammmmmm

2009-05-24T22:06:00.003+10:00

Tomorrows my bday, everyones getting me presents and saying i should feel special, but i don't. Its just another ordinary day. Im going to wake up the same way as i did today, and im going to go to sleep the same way as i will today. Im going to the same thing things as i did every other monday. Not much of a difference yeah? On friday it was raining, luckily i was walking Rebecca home, and she had an umbrella. And yeah on saturday i played games all day. I got told off today for imitating my friend during a test, and the teacher said i was rebel. Fucking douche.

And a few weeks ago, i finished my puzzle, heres a picture, its the one in the middle.

Oh yeah, did i mention that like theres some dickhead that keeps going on Mimi's blog thats pretending to be me and keeps saying i eat poo and shit? Yeah fuck you, probably Branden LOL. Stupid dick. :P

And yeah this shows Della how the puzzles stick together. :P

I can never sleep before 1am these days

2009-05-18T23:04:00.004+10:00

Today i slept at 4;00 am, because i was working on my jigsaw puzzle. I had to be at school by 8:00am, and tried to wake up at 6:00, and ended up waking up at 8:00. Rebecca dogged me while walking to school cos she was tired of waiting LOL. I also got photoshop back today, thanks della.

Isaac Shepard - Before Dawn

2009-05-17T18:01:00.002+10:00

Today i went to Timothy's place in the morning ROFL, taught him abit of my awesome dota skills, and yeah he showed me his awesome CF skills. Anyways then i went tutor, and we went in early, cos last time we jigged and got caught. Teacher guy gave us a test about co-ordinate geometry and i had no idea what the fuck that was, cos we jigged a key lesson. LOL. I'd be suprised if i got more than 5 questions right. I wrote my name as Timothy's though, cos i thought it'd be funny if he failed twice. Anyways after tutor, i walked around abit, then started walking home because my rents forgot about me. Once i got home i practiced piano til like 4 or something, when Trendee, Joanne and Wendy paid me a visit. They wanted to look at my dogs and yeah. Bobo ran away and i had to catch him twice. After that i practiced piano til 6;00, and i bought sheet music :]. Im so good at piano these days, and even by saying that im being modest LOL. Okay ill try to be even more modest, im only good at octaves, and fast broken chords, but i suck at jumping chords. Fuck, after listening to the song on my profile, i also rememberd im forgetting how to play Isaac Shepard's Before Dawn. WHICH IS VERY BAD, COS THE SONG ROCKS. OMGZ I FORGOTZ HOW TO PLAYZ IT. Grade 5 piano is hard, have to learn so much, but ill get it done. Then im gonna finish Hikari, and rememorize Before Dawn, then start on Through the Kaleidoscope. :)

lol, where is he?

2009-05-16T23:12:00.003+10:00

Today, out of boredom and my inability to wait 10 minutes for my cousin to get on Bored Aussies PVPGN so we can Dota with Colin and Nathan, i've decided to post my first ever blog :).

Far, its been like 30 minutes and hes still not on, im on Ventrilo with nathan, which is kinda like talking to each other over the internet, cept hes just trying to get my vent to work. On vent, some guy is playing that song Twilight Zone. I forgot the artist LOL. I can see many famous BA'ers, like GTKae and Vindicated_. I can also see mods :D. Anyways i don't think hes coming LOL.

Today was an okay day. I had to go with my rents to Bankstown, to get an x-ray. After that, they shouted me food. Then i helped them do the shopping and went home. When i got home it was like 1:30pm, which was my usual wake up time. I got on the computer and started gaming, when boom, my computer fucked up again. Right then, after countless acts of praying, which was in vain, i formatted. Took like 40 minutes in total to format and install all my shit again, but it wasn't that bad, cos i was practicing piano. I nearly finished Kylelandrys variation of Hikari, which is so fuxing hard. For those people who don't know what Kylelandrys Hikari sounds like, theres a link HERE. Pretty impressive yeah? After practicing Piano, i went upstairs and played 2 dota games, while msn'ing with Mimi. Then i ate dinner, which took longer than expected, then played another 2 games. Then i decided to get on vent and like yeah, thats the story up to now.